fakesmileasana

Last year before Christmas, my husband repeatedly asked me what I wanted, while I continued to tell him I’d be happy with anything and also that he should magically figure out what I wanted all by himself. Finally, his frustration bubbled over – “I’m getting you nothing!” – so my email was as follows:

“Okay… since you REFUSE to have any imagination… This is my xmas list:

  • Any sort of beach yoga mat… I found and love this one. www.beachyogamats.com
  • Private Yoga lessons with Mel
  • New basket and storage rack and horn for Shosh and a general wash and service as she’s looking meh.
  • Any of the books on this list, preferably second hand so that I can have more of them!, preferably second hand so that I can have more of them!
  • Any other St. George’s experience, make my own perfume at the perfumery, a cooking lesson from Tempest chef, a bonfire full moon party with dranks and fun times… and any other thing that we can do together would also be nice.”

I was most excited by the yoga mat, having stalked it for months and being unable to justify the high price tag ($175!) and carbon footpint of shipping in what is essentially an upcycled sari with corner pockets. I would stare at the website, carefully selecting which ‘one of a kind’ Indian tapestry I would soon be practicing my downward-dog upon at Fort St. Catherine Beach.

It’s Christmas Eve. Husband says he has to ‘pick up something he’s been storing at his office’ and there is some mention of ZipX. OH EM GEEEEEE!!! He got the mat!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Cut to Christmas Day, when I open and unwrap some non-Indian tapestry, non-upcycled from spiritual cloth remnants and Hindu tears, non-super hipster mat with equally hipster knapsack, non-featured in Yoga Journal’s Top 5 Sand Friendly yoga beach gear for summer loving yogis in the Yoga Journal – some OTHER beach yoga mat.

‘You like it?’ he asks expectantly.

‘Of course… ‘ *wide fake smile* ‘Thanks so much baby!’

He proceeds to tell me all the trouble he went through to get this OTHER beach yoga mat, first going to a sports store and asking them for a beach yoga mat, them telling him there’s no such thing (Bermuda why??), so him googling ‘beach yoga mats’ (why for though??!! I gave him a website), finding this one, going back to the sports store and asking them to import it (they said no), and, finally, purchasing it online and getting it shipped in. Just for me.

*wide fake smile* ‘Wow all that for me?… You shouldn’t have.’ No really.

And so, months later, I sit forlornly, in an easy cross legged position, upon my lovingly-purchased beachbambooyogamat.com staring forlornly at beachyogamat.com, wondering whether it would be insanely ridiculous or just a little bit ridiculous to have them both.

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