Titty Milk.

I stopped believing in politics around 2012.

Well maybe that’s not completely accurate…

I stopped believing in politicians around 2012, but alas it’s also near impossible to have any faith in a system, when the people who are elected to uphold it are trash.

And while it’s true that politicians around the globe are also garbage, that’s not what this particular episode is about. This latest installment of dumpster doo-doo comes courtesy of a disturbing video circulating where a local Government Minister saw fit to ask a salesperson in the UK, after she explained the store carried soy milk and almond milk, if they also sold ‘titty milk’.

Yes, you read that correctly.

I’m really not sure what is more fucking ridiculous; that the comment was made, or that this man (a Member of Parliament, community leader, father and husband), thought it was hilarious and benign enough to post on social media. Yes folks, he recorded his OWN self, and then posted it on his OWN Instagram!

I.. I…don’t understand.

Was good judgment on sabbatical? Who the hell invited sexual harassment and toxic masculinity to a cereal shop? Considering this Minister is actually overseas engaged in meetings about sex crimes, is this an attempt to drown us in irony and hypocrisy? Did he actually think that this crude, gross question was funny?

Please explain to me what in the ‘grab them by the pussy’ is going on.

I’m sure the chorus will raise voices in unison soon, ‘Relax… it was just a joke’.

To you I reply (in song), “FUCK OFF.” Imagine if a female MP, when offered apple juice at a local cafe, asked for cum juice instead. #unabletocan

After the chorus will likely come the non-apology, like the pastor who groped on Ariana’s breast, saying that ‘he didn’t mean any harm’.

Again, I repeat, “FUCK OFF,” and ask this Minister to imagine if some random dude asked his precious daughter for ‘titty milk’ when she’s just trying to go about her fucking day!

When will we stop handing out free passes?

This island is floating in a murky, moldy soup of predation, sexual violence and misogyny, cooked up by a kitchen line of broken men. Yet every time a woman points this out, and say that PERHAPS men can do a bit better, we are met with ‘you all have it way easier than us because conscription.’

Righhhtttttt… mkay.

Yeah, we have it real easy, cuz you know what I just LOVE? Going to meet with a politician to ask about funding for a charity and instead, being talked at for 15 minutes about pornography. #truestory

You know what else really has me feeling empowered? Being followed down the street and then called a ‘bougie bitch’ when I don’t respond to catcalls.

Or having a bike slow down and just ride beside me in the pitch dark.

Or being called sweetheart, baby, and darling in meetings instead of my actual name.

Or being mocked rudely in a meeting by yet another politician, while I ignore the fact that he perpetually slides into my DMs. (So far in this story alone, that’s inappropriate behavior by three politicians, in case you’ve lost count.)

In the past I’ve done a backflip triple salchow trying my best to maneuver away from ‘bashing men’, acknowledging that we are all dealing with generational trauma, and how, in men, that often presents as an inability to communicate and connect with women in a real and genuine way.

But not this time.

The act of harassment towards this woman, who was just trying to serve this man some fucking cereal, has to be called out. I’m not making a “boys will be boys” excusatory statement as it’s really tiring to see men who are supposed to be the best of us, demonstrating that they are pretty much the same as the guy on the corner asking me if my period is on.

Sigh, you know what…

I’m going to just end it here because I feel like on a day where I have to write ‘cum juice’ as an analogy, I should be drinking wine by 4pm.